Let it flow

Without judgement

Hello and happy summer!

I’m getting ready for my Creativity Circle based on The Artist’s Way this Saturday. Blocks, letting ideas flow, identifying censors, what is creativity, am I an artist - all these questions swirling in my mind.

When I was running this morning I started thinking about how my perfectionism and comparison keep me from creating. I want it to be a beautiful finished product before I’ve even tried it for the first time. I challenged myself to 20 minutes of creativity everyday for the next 20 days. I wrote a list of all the things I want to try - making things out of clay, watercolouring, writing, quilting. I might not get around to all of these things or have a finished beautiful product by the end of it, but I’ve already experienced the calming and grounding that comes with using my hands even just for 20 minutes.

I’m in my luteal phase, wound tight, in the midst of summer holidays without the summer sun. These are excuses but I’m not feeling my best this week. I like mini challenges because it helps keep me accountable. I wrote some basic guidelines: 

1. Follow curiosity

2. Make it joyful

3. Set a timer

4. Lower standards

I created a calendar to cross each day off. So far I watercoloured the sunset, made some weird clay items, and wrote on the train. Is any of it good? Nope. I’m really trying to be okay with it. Am I tempted to go down a days-long rabbit hole on YouTube to “learn” how to make thing with air dry clay or the best techniques for watercolours? Yes yes yes I am. But I’m trying to resist this urge and just get to making. Feel the clay in my hands, feel how much water I need to smooth it out, feel how it responds to manipulation. I like playing with the watercolours and seeing the vibrant colours on the thick paper. My paintings so far do not resemble anything. I’m probably using the wrong brushes, the wrong amount of wash, wrong strokes. It doesn’t matter. It doesnt’ matter. It doesn’t matter. If I do not pick it up, practice, try, let go, I will never ever make anything. 

Of course this applies to so many other areas in my life. My work comes to mind immediately. I want to keep searching searching for the “right” thing for me before taking steps towards it. I’m learning it’s all distraction. Dis-traction. The opposite of traction. I’m not making progress, or at least it feels like it, and I want traction. 

I want to mold my life like I’m molding the clay in my hands. Using my hands I can find traction. My hands show me by doing the work before they really know what they are doing. 

Is this surrendering? 

On a very rainy and cold Tuesday evening I went into Edinburgh to see Maggie Nicols, a free jazz improv artist, singer, dancer, poet. The University of Edinburgh was honouring her with a PhD for her decades of contribution to improvisation. The Glasgow Improvisers Orchestra, music students and Maggie met earlier that day to create new pieces for the event. I’ve never listened to improvised music before. It was weird. It was discordant. It was startling and unnerving. But also deeply beautiful in an unexpected way. The performers were invited to express themselves through their instruments or voice when they felt called to do so. Several of them kept their eyes closed - Maggie did the whole time - seemingly connecting to their intuition or source and listening for their moment to join in. 

It inspired me to think about -

adding my voice when I feel called to even if it’s not conventionally beautiful, opportunities for all voices to sing and contribute 

the value of expression and creation in a group, 

experimental art, 

and artist collectives.

[I want to be a part of a collective]

Lately I’ve been…

Basking in the beauty of a full weekend with my pals from Wales. It is an incredibly special thing to show friends around & do all the lovely things. We had a full Edinburgh day - farmers market, royal mile, yarn & fabric shop, bookshop with tea, natural wine bar in the cosy living room, and Chinese delivery. I also got to show them around the village and just chill. Friends! Swoon!

Going to the beach a lot. Yesterday I went on my own and swam and played with watercolours and read. A perfect artist date.

Shifting my plans for The Artist’s Way Creativity Circle. Sadly the gallery I was collaborating with is closing in early August. I’m doing a free taster workshop this Saturday (tickets here if you’d like to join us!) while I find a new collaborator/host. I am excited to be in community with folks around creativity!

Listening to Bob Dylan and The Band Forever Young and realising it’s a perfect blessing for us right now.

May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift 

Looking forward to learning about travel hacks with Katya from Matriarch Collective - free training live tomorrow. Especially as we are planning a trip to Arkansas in September - make those air miles work harder for me! 

I hope you’re taking really good care. May you have ice cream and sunshine and giggles.

Until next time, loves!